Reflective journaling is best described as a practice of writing about personal experiences with the intent to learn from them at a later time. Using as much detail as you’re comfortable with, you can keep “records” of how you’re feeling, why you’re feeling that way and what you want to do about it. Keeping these records for weeks, months, even years can be a great way to review progress later on and, in the beginning, to get to know yourself. It’s what I’ve been doing for a year and a half with the more recent quarter being using the Notepad app on my desktop. I type the date and time as such 1/23/2026 @ 12:34pm and when I click “save as”, it automatically puts the date and time as the filename, making it easy to keep organized by date by simply making a folder for each month.
Anyways!
When I first started journaling, I would get so angry at my own feelings that I’d write them out and then, I’d feel a pit of disgust at the things that I wrote. And nine times out of ten, the things that I wrote were along the lines of:
Why didn’t I get my happy ending? (inserts more impatient questions)
Some of the earliest journaling entries, I completely destroyed. Not for nothing, they could have helped later in the journey but honestly, I’m glad there’s no proof that I acted so emotional at times. (right?)
Deep down, I always knew that what happened to me in childhood wasn’t fair and I also knew that I’d accepted far less than I deserved as an adult because of it. I knew it wasn’t all my fault, though I had a sharp hand to play in all the situations I ended up in as an adult. However, those early entries proved that even in my most emotionally immature mindset, I still knew that I deserved love, friendship and companionship, even if it disgusted me to the point of ripping pages.
During my healing journey, reflective journaling has opened the door to experimenting with life and learning about my own emotions and well-being. There are some days that I just don’t want to get better and then, there are other days that I can review old journal entries and see progress and yearn for more. With all things, feelings and healing aren’t linear and we will always have some days that are more motivating than others.
The most important part of reflective journaling for me is the act of doing it. Even if I don’t feel like it, writing down what’s on my mind gets it out of my mind and into the world. It’s a subconscious relief as well as a great tool to later look at when brainstorming ways to solve a problem, reflecting on moods vs, events and noticing what tends to trigger me the most.
How did I learn to stop ripping the pages? This is when I started using “notepad” on my desktop and saving every day as a date and time, organized in a folder by month. They could be deleted, sure. But there’s no physical satisfaction in clicking a button. ;)
(See, I’m not really as mature as you thought :). )
Here’s an excerpt from one of my first real deeply reflective journaling entries:
10/28/2025 @ 09:15am
I want to be heard but there’s not a safe outlet that I’ve found yet. I’m not sure if I have anything worth hearing. Maybe I’m just lonely. Maybe it’s just grief. I have no clue.
But I really wish I’d built a life for myself that I didn’t have to run from. Starting over like this really...really sucks. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone... except those that hurt me and made me have to change my name and move across the country. (This is actually a thing I did to help me heal. I'll write about this later in summer of 2026).
I wish I could see how this works out at all. I wish I had hope still. But I’ve been simmering for nearly 11 months with all this rage and anger and I’ve still got no answers. I’ve got nothing and I’ve got no one. Sometimes I don’t even want to say how I feel to myself but I know I’m not wrong here. Maybe I’m not worthy of being loved but I can definitely keep a friend and... that’s not been offered. The way I dress makes me feel comfortable and hot but I feel like it makes me unapproachable to people my age. Maybe it’s intimidation. I do come on strong, I suppose.
I hate pits like this where I know there’s something deeper going completely unmet and... there’s not any way to meet those needs. I can’t become another person who listens to me and affirms my feelings. I do it myself but that isn’t the same as real connection. I don’t have a job and the jobs that I want are so far out of reach that I’ve got little hope for them to happen. It’s been almost eight months since I left the last job officially and decided to “fall into the hands of fate”. Everything is so far away and I have no sense of purpose. No sense of anything, really. I’m tired. I’m scared to be seen. I don’t want anyone to know me but I want someone safe to know me. I trust my instincts but I don’t. I feel like a bulldog or a hood rat in my room lifting weights and eating protein all to walk outside and shrink into my own chest, hanging my head so that I don’t have to make eye contact with anyone.
I’m not giving up though. I have no one to listen to me for right now. Everything is temporary and I know that. So, this can’t last forever.
Sometimes, when I’m having a rougher day, I provide updates.
UPDATE: @ 10:34am
I made myself a really delicious breakfast, assuming my hormones might be slightly at play here. Sauteed red peppers, yellow onion and celery with Polska Kielbasa, two over-easy fried eggs and cheese grits. I lit a candle to be with me while I ate and I made a cup of coffee after, watching the candle wick burn while I drank it. The entire time, I had my headphones in and listened to some of my favorite music, even the sad songs. I feel better. I still think I’m feeling lonely, but I feel better. I’m going to shower and while my hair dries, work a bit on some of the projects that are important to me and then, get my daily exercising in. At the very least, my emotions will not dictate my discipline. But for now, my emotions have calmed. Making myself yummy food seems to be something that I enjoy. I think I can add cooking to the list, finally.
If you’re able to notice right off the bat that I took the initiative to make myself feel better then, well done, that’s what you’re supposed to notice. I didn’t urge myself to do “self-care” that day but instead, recognized my body as a being that was probably hormonal and needed proper nutrition. Sometimes, it’s a wonder what a good meal does for the body and the soul. With that being said – what are things that fill you back up? Did you find time to journal that out? What do you do for you and what else can you try that you might like?
Reflective journaling will help you start to determine these things that fill your cup back up. By noticing the times that you “feel better” after doing “xyz”, you’ll notice exactly what it is you need to do the next time you find yourself in between a rock and a hard place mentally. Sometimes it’s atleast just a step in the right direction and who knows, it might work for you!
Because of how healing journaling has been for me, I recommend you try to journal as well! I’ve added a few prompts, as usual, to the end of this blog post and of course, as I’m a struggling human too and not anyone’s mentor, I’ve added my own responses, as well, to prove as much. Enjoy your week and stay safe and healthy, good humans.
What do you find to be your biggest triggers when it comes to expressing your emotions?
I find myself triggered when expressing anger over unfairness, especially towards authority figures (like a boss who’s not acting professionally). I also find myself triggered when expressing excitment, especially towards romantic connections, afraid of being percieved as vulnerable or naive. I don’t like the idea of someone seeing me get excited over a connection.
Do you feel more avoidant in relationships or more anxious?
I DID NOT ANSWER THIS FOR PUBLIC VIEW (LOL) :)
(Is that an obvious enough answer?)
Yes, I'm in therapy for this.
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