My Journey
Welcome to a glimpse into my personal healing journey and information on why I chose to start this personal blog. You can find more of "my lore" in my blog post "Introduction to a Silenced Child" and I tend to drop some randomly in each blog post, journal entry response and short story that I share.
#1 You Are Not Alone
One of the most significant realizations in my journey has been understanding that I am not alone in my experiences. This understanding is a core element of healing, and I hope to offer the same comfort to you, which is the main reason I opened this blog up.
Dear Listener is still in the works and I hope to have it up and running by summertime of 2026.
"Healing is not linear. It is a process of self-discovery, resilience, and growth. Remember, your story matters."
Relocation Does Help
One thing about me is I'm not afraid of a challenge. Twice, I've left my hometown without a destination in mind and let the road, wind and my guts decide where I landed. Both times, I ended up deep in the Appalachian mountains, once in the South and once in the North, where they begin. I feel like my story is important to share because when I say these things aloud, people say "wow, you're so brave to be able to just up and go like that!" and no, no I'm not. I'm courageous, sure, but those were fear-based choices. Were they the best choices I've made? By far. I couldn't have healed without this last relocation. I couldn't have realized what had to catch up and what was actually staying behind. Now, I've healed my roots away from where they were formed. I've learned that since I became aware of being alive, I've kept myself safe and that I am my own best friend. I've learned that even fear based choices can be divine. I've learned that I'm enough just as I am. I've learned that I'm not always doing something wrong. I've learned that I am the adult in the room and that I can trust the choices that I make. I've learned that I love myself very deeply. That's why I'm sharing my story. This world needs as much healing as possible. Let's all heal ourselves because ultimately, we are our own worlds and by changing ourselves and our futures, we can really make a difference. I believe it so wholeheartedly.
Trauma's Many Shades
Trauma isn't black and white. It's a spectrum of experiences, each with its own shades and textures. My journey has taught me that acknowledging this complexity is vital for authentic healing.
For me, trauma was not just physical or mental, it went deeper and into spiritual elements, as well. Having been indoctrinated from a young age into believing certain religious lies, I still find myself loathing my own indulgences at times, thinking I'm always doing something wrong (I'm not).
Whatever your flavor of trauma is, know that it's completely valid. Your experiences and feelings are valid, no matter what anyone else might think. You are the most important person in your life, now and always.
As for my trauma, a lot of it is in the original "lore" blog post that is linked above. More of it is dropped randomly in blog posts. In a nutshell, I was kicked out as a teenager from the family home where I was indocrinated with purity culture and severe "Christian" beliefs that included women being "less" than men and not being allowed to do certain things. Meanwhile, abuse was being hidden by homeschooling, isolation and outright gaslighting. After being kicked out as a teenager, I found freedom but also, drugs and alcohol. I landed in quite a few situations that never should have happened, I was naive and young. Preyed on a few times. After becoming addicted to alcohol, I make it my life's mission to sober up and by age 25, I was doing alright. I have children that I've done my best for and now, I live my life slowly and view things like productivity diferrently. I have three years sober (in early 2026) since my last relapse when I gave up two years sober. Each day, I do my best to maintain a positive mindset because in the end, I never thought I'd live this long. Here I am and not only am I a survivor, I refuse to be silent any longer and I am determined to build a life that I love.
I hope you are, too.
What Works for Me
Mentally - proper nutrition, 7+ hours of sleep, daily exercise. Daily reflective journaling and using the Finch app to keep track of all the habits I like to keep. (flossing, enough water, etc). Taking "micro-rests" and mental health days as needed but upkeeping discipline with certain things such as exercise.
Spiritually - following my own intuition and not anything that already has a major following. Learning to listen to my own inner voice and finding new ways to meet my needs. Spending time in nature (this is really for mental and emotional healing, as well).
Emotionally - keeping myself safe by not letting just anyone have access to me. Maintaining firm boundaries with those who have proven to be unsafe connections but that I still need to remain in contact with (i.e child's other parent). Expressing myself openly in multiple creative forms and offering that to the world for digestion, inspiration and motivation. Actively seeking connection. Positive self-talk.
"We're all constantly changing. In fact, that's the only thing we can count on... is that everything is always going to change up on us. Learn to move with the waves of life and you'll be unstoppable."
Silenced Hindsight